Photo courtesy  Sergey Galushko/ Fotolia.com

This poem appeared in an 1860 ad for the Redding & Bayless drug store in Clarksville, Texas.

Here are Medicines good for all human ills—
Blisters and Plasters, and Powders and Pills,
Tinctures, all made from the purest of Drugs,
And poisons for rats, dogs, roaches and bugs. 

Here are fine fancy Soaps of every grade,
Tooth-Powders and Paste, Ox-Marrow Pomade,
With fifty fine Oils, all good for the hair,
And the genuine Grease of the Bear. 

And as for Perfumes, why, the Ladies all own,
That Redding & Bayless keep the best of Cologne,
The whitest of Powder, that don't hurt the face,
With a little fine Rouge, all right in its place. 

For pimples, and wrinkles, and freckles, and tan,
Nothing has ever been discovered by man
Like that wonderful product of tropical bowers,
The popular 'Balm of a Thousand Flowers.' 

They have all sorts of Cholagogues, good for the shakes,
And their Ague Tonics most every one takes;
No poisonous medicines in them are found,
Yet they cure a man quick, and leave him quite sound.

Why should a man tremble and shiver and shake,
And rattle his bones till they are ready to break,
Then burn with the fever, and sweat like a stew,
When he knows what a bottle of medicine will do?

(Author’s note: A cholagogue, pronounced koh-luh-gawg, is a medicine that promotes the discharge of bile from the liver, and these potions were apparently quite popular back in the day, especially since they were most likely laced with a liberal portion of alcohol)

I found the following “Maxims from Dr. Hall’s Fun Better than Physic,” in a little “Collection of Valuable Information” that was put out by Furst and Bradley in 1878. (Furst and Bradley was the forerunner of the David Bradley Company of Sears, Roebuck & Co. fame.)

• More persons are destroyed by eating too much than by drinking too much. Gluttony kills more than drunkenness in civilized societies. 
• The sleep of the overworked, like that of those who do not work at all, is unsatisfying and un-refreshing, and both alike wake up in weariness, sadness and langour, with an inevitable result – both dying prematurely. 
• Many men live long in spite of some pernicious habit, but without it they would have lived even longer. 
• Those who know the least are the most positive. 
• Disease will as certainly be engendered by too much food as by too little. 
• Dyspeptic persons had a thousand times better “top off” with a few teaspoonfuls of strong vinegar than with a plum pudding or mince pie, or a glass of wine or brandy. 
• The more sick people can sleep, the sooner they will get well. 
• The three great essentials to human health are: keep the feet always dry and warm, have one regular action of the bowels every day, and cool off very slowly after all forms of exercise. 
• The use of oils, or pomatums, or grease of bears, pigs, geese, or anything else, is ruinous to the hair of man or women. It is a filthy practice for it gathers dust and dirt and soils whatever it touches. Nothing but pure soft water should ever be allowed on the heads of our children. 
• As a universal rule in health, and with very rare exceptions in case of disease, it is best to eat that which the appetite craves or the taste relishes. 
• Farming, or any other active out-door life, tends to perfect digestion. 

 
Photo courtesy of hc/ Fotolia

These days everyone is up in arms about gasoline prices, and I can understand why. The other day I filled up my truck on the way to a plow day and the pump shut me off at $100 and then I put an additional $35 worth in the tractor. An expensive day – but it was fun.

            The other day someone sent me some jokes about the situation:

            A guy puts his credit card in a fuel pump which asks for the make, model and year of his car, as well as his annual salary. After a brief wait, the message came back: “Your loan has been approved. You may fill up.”

            Another showed two bums sitting on a park bench and one says: “I had it all…nice wife, a house in the ‘burbs, a luxury car…and then I went to the gas station for a fill-up.”

            Another cartoon shows a gas pump with a banner that reads: “Spend your tax refund here!!”

            Then there’s the guy telling the tow-truck driver: “Oh! I’m not broken down. I just thought you’d be cheaper than buying gas!”

            Finally is the happy young lady showing of her new engagement ring to a gaggle of friends. She tells them: “…and we’re registered at Shell, Mobil, BP and Texaco.”

The following story appeared in the San Francisco Star: "There is to be a Government investigation into the recent frequent advances in the price of gasoline. To the (public) the cause of the advance is very simple: (the oil companies) 'need the money' – and have the power to get it. However, the investigation will be welcomed by all consumers, who hope that it may result ... in 'remedial legislation.'" The possibility of Federal prosecution of those responsible was also raised, although that was doubted by the paper.

The Star went on to say that the Standard Oil Company was claiming the price was simply the result of the law of supply and demand, but pointed out that Standard Oil had just distributed $25 million as dividends to its stockholders, "...the biggest 'watermelon' ever cut by a California corporation."

While the above story may sound contemporary, it appeared in the March 4, 1916 issue of The Star, proving again that there's nothing new under the sun. By the way, the "high" price of gas that triggered the investigation was 18 cents per gallon. Now 18 cents doesn't sound like much, but 18 cents in 1916 money is equal to $3.56 in 2010 dollars.

Jokes and cartoons abounded in those days too. One showed an open touring car with a mast and two sails, while the caption read: "Guaranteed to do thirty miles on a gill (1/4 pint) of gasoline [if the wind is right]. During the month of March eighty two miles on five drops guaranteed [that's on the level]."

            Two old friends met and one said, "George, I hear you've met with a terrible loss. Was that your wife on the ship that sank the other day?" George replied, "Worse than that! Some wretch drained the tank of my car – and it was more than half full!"

            A traffic cop was berating a motorist who had left his car parked on the city street for over a week. The man's excuse was that the price of gas had gotten so high that he had to take the train home and borrow money for gas.

            A sign on a gas pump read: "Why buy gasoline in small quantities? Get a whole gallon on the weekly payment plan."

So, high gasoline prices, consumer belief that oil company greed is the cause, and government investigations and threats of prosecution are nothing new, nor is the attempt to ease the situation with humor. I guess the crisis passed in 1916, and it may do so ninety-six years later as well.