A CURE FOR STEAMITIS

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Sr., 436 North Library, Waterloo, Illinois 62298

I, E. R. Dugan, the flying engineer, had quite an experience last fall while taking in the 29th Annual Midwest Old Threshers Reunion at Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. The weather was good, but very hot and dusty, as I got out early one morning to fire up William O. Sater's 20 HP return flue Avery. While walking over to where the engines were, I saw a fellow firing up his model steam engine. It was Ross, and I said, 'Good morning, Ross.' He responded and then added, 'Dugan, I think I am crazy!'. I asked, 'what makes you say that?' Well, he replied that anybody that would haul a steam engine up here 300 miles in this heat and dust had to be nuts. He could have stayed home and sat under a shade tree and drank cold beverages. He said, 'Dugan, look I had this engine pointed east, Now it's pointed north and the sun is coming up in the north.'

So, I came to the conclusion that the man had steamitis, for I have seen several engineers have the same thing in my time. One was in the panhandle country and one in the Dakotas, and both of these men were cured in a very short time with this simple cure.

All you need is two gallons of steam cylinder oil, 1/2 bushel coal soot, and some pine tar or belt dressing. Pour the cylinder oil down the back of the patient's neck along with plenty of soot. Smear the pine tar in his hair and then send him to the shower. By the time the patient is cleaned up, he is over the steamitis.

So..... I called on Orville Morey, Ralph Leavings and Edgar Leavings, who also have small model engines here in Mt. Pleasant. I explained the case to them and asked for their help. We all agreed to use the cure on Ross. While Ross was there sweating it out, Morey got the cylinder oil, Ralph got the soot, and Edgar got the pine tar. We really fixed him up even his little cigar and then sent him to the shower. We got him a clean uniform, and after he was all cleaned up, he was ready to go in the parade. He never complained about the heat or dust anymore, and the sun came up in the east ever after.

So fellow engineers, remember the cure. If anyone gets steamitis, be sure to give him the cure. It's a dirty mess, but it is worth it.!