Dam Letter

| 10/26/2011 2:01:03 PM

Tags: michigan, beavers,

I ran across this a long time ago and thought readers might get a chuckle from it. Allegedly, they're actual letters from and to the Michigan State Department of Environmental Quality, although I rather doubt that even a petty bureaucrat could be this obtuse. The names are fictitious, of course.

Mr. John Q. Downinout, 
10/14/96123 Dirt Rd.,Somewhere, MI 49000                         

Dear Mr. Downinout: 

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on your property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. 

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.  

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.