Farm Collector

AN AMUSING INCIDENT

Center Road, Homeworth, Ohio 44634

I’ve been doing some research in the library and came across
this item from the Alliance Weekly Local, which I thought might
interest you. (Alliance, Ohio)

May 30, 1874 – Our new steam fire engine, the first we ever had,
arrived in New Castle (Pennsylvania) the other day, and of course
the entire population of the village turned out to witness the
trial of the machine. Mr. Bob Parker secured the post of honor as
holder of the service pipe, and he was mighty proud of it. The
engine was down at the wharf, getting ready to pump water from the
river, and Parker stood almost four hundred yards off, at the end
of a line of hose, waiting for the steam to come, so that he could
squirt it over the Court house steeple.

There was a great deal of delay while the men were fixing the
engine, and Parker cautiously held the muzzle of the pipe toward
his waistcoat while he discussed the question of a third term for
Grant with the Rev. Dr. Hopkins. At the most interesting moment of
the debate the engine suddenly began to work, and the next instant
a two inch stream struck Parker in the stomach with a terrible
force, and rolled him over in the gutter. He felt as if the Gulf
Stream had been shot through him from front to back. Then the pipe
gave a few eccentric jerks, smashed Dr. Hopkins’ hat into black
silk chaos, and emptied a hog-shed of water into his open mouth. It
concluded the exercises by getting into such a position that it
would play a million gallons a minute up the left trousers’ leg
of the prostrate Mr. Parker. Parker seemed to lose all interest in
the capacity of the engine. He went home for his Sunday clothes,
and he has since intimated to his confidential friends that if
Grant should spend the whole of the third term squirting a stream
fifty thousand feet high with that diabolical fire extinguisher he,
Parker, would not go round the comer to witness the spectacle. Max
Adeler.

This was in the library, understand, and I nearly burst myself
to keep from laughing out loud and disturbing the other patrons. I
come across quite a few interesting gems in those old
newspapers. END

  • Published on Sep 1, 1967
© Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved - Ogden Publications, Inc.