Barnyard Backtalk

By Dawn M. Somers
Published on May 1, 1993

17837 Lindenwood Rd. Lindenwood, Illinois 61049

One blustery autumn Saturday the barnyard animals were arguing
about who was the strongest. They decided that they’d have a
pulling contest to find out who was the best. There was a gang plow
behind the shed they could use. They drew straws to see who went
first. The Dog got the longest straw and won the honor. He hitched
himself up and started out to the field. Once the shares were in
the ground he had to take three and four little false starts before
he got going on his first half-round. On the second half he had to
work oh-so-much harder to get up the hill. The pull wasn’t
going so well. The Dog’s temper got the best of him and he
started frothing at the mouth. He realized too late that his
weakness for ‘soft-water’ drinks in his compound-filled
stomach was his undoing that morning.

The Bull was snorting around announcing how he would out pull
them all. Out he goes to the field and starts down the far furrow.
Now the Bull is in such a hurry he started pawing the earth so fast
he lost his footing. First thing you knew his hind feet slipped out
from under him and on his belly he sat, stuck in the sandy hill.
Now the Bull was proud and he wasn’t about to holler for help,
but really there wasn’t any need. The Banner-Boy saw the Bull
go down and made a triumphant charge to the Bull’s rescue. The
Banner-Boy unhooked the plow and pulled it off the side so he could
pull the Bull out by the tail.

The Tiger watched all this with calm determination. When the
plow was brought back to the beginning of the field he hooked his
tail to the clevece and smoothly dug in with both hind legs. He was
growling a little as he moved across the field. You see, the poor
Tiger has a light sinus condition due to the numerous nose jobs
he’s had in the past couple of years. As he made it up the
final hill he started purring along when someone remembered to
scratch behind his ears.

The Eagle had been circling overhead for the bird’s-eye-view
of the contest. He must have sensed his competition was stiff
because when he landed he complained his asthma was acting up and
he decided to sit this contest out.

The Sheepherder just pocketed his money and decided he’d
help thresh grain. He was just a little guy. His big brothers were
sleeping in the shed and he couldn’t wake them. There was no
way he was going to try to save the family honor against those
bigger barnyard animals.

Online Store Logo
Need Help? Call 1-866-624-9388