The Ladies Page

By Mae Baber
Published on September 1, 1967

BRANDON WISCONSIN RR-2 ZIP-53SI9

At about the same time this comes into print I expect to be
unusually busy. For the first time in five years our six children,
our married-into-the-family children, and four grandchildren should
be keeping the place real lively around here. If God is willing
that it be thus we will have seventeen people around the table for
about a week. In my weaker moments I feel a little shaky in the
knees. We haven’t all been together at the same time for five
years. Right now I am planning how to successfully carry off the
project.

It may sound a bit way-out, but I am intending to take refuge in
the barn. Our offspring get into endless gab sessions, and monopoly
games that threaten to live into the next day. While it may not
surprise old threshermen, even one iota, to think of sleeping in
the barn, it isn’t exactly a modern practice. You see, my
husband is a very modern farmer, who when he remodeled his barn,
put in an office for efficiency. It is really a rather nice place
and most always cool and quiet. So I will be sleeping in modern
comfort while all the younger element is burning up the energy I
don’t possess anymore. I hope to be up with the birds, feeling
almost as chipper as they. Last year when most of them were here I
envied my husband pulling out at nine thirty or ten o’clock to
the quietness of his retreat, while I bedded down on the makeshift
bed in the living room. The off spring were a around the dining
room table, and we don’t even have a door between. Never again,
if I can help it. Not as long as the office can hold another single
bed.

Yesterday I had the novel experience of showing a teacher and
four of her young friends around the farm. The first things they
were looking for were the cats. We have only two, and they were out
hunting, but one finally came after I called him quiet lustily.
Then I think I pulled a boner. We went to see the hogs, and we have
had a wet spring, and consequently have they a nice juicy wallow. I
appeared that they were making full use of it. They came over to
the feeders, dripping with their unappetizing coating. ‘Ooh,
they are dirty,’ said the one little girl with distaste in her
voice. ‘What do you do with them?’ she asked.

‘Oh,’ I said quite nonchalently, ‘they make ham and
bacon out of them, and pork chops, and all kinds of good things to
eat.’

‘Those dirty things?’ she asked shuddering. ‘I will
never eat a piece of ham or bacon again.’

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